Featuring my Diva-dog
I’ve been off work for a week or so, and while I could have wasted my time cleaning out the closets or wiping down the baseboards or some such other nonsense, I decided to be productive and creative. So after reading THIS article by Colin the Crypto Ocelot, I was inspired to play around with tools I have no business using to create a list of my own prodigious album covers. I present to you…
Iconic Album Covers, Weiner style (which is sort of like Gangnam style but different), narrated by Ginger.
My human with the beard loves Kiss. He has all sorts of Kiss stuff. Apparently, the reason he can’t hear Mama and me sometimes is all those Kiss concerts he attended back when he had a mullet and dressed like Don Johnson. Seriously, you should see that white jacket he had. The weird thing, though, is that he is not always on board when I wanna rock and roll all night. I guess he’s getting old.
No, I do not swim. I would, however, like a dollar to buy bacon. But while we’re on the subject, who would toss their precious dachshund into the ocean to be surrounded by sharks and dolphins?! This smells fishy to me…as opposed to smelling like teen spirit, whatever that is.
The Velvet Underground
What the heck? What is this? Who painted me yellow? I am not amused. And what’s with the snarky instructions: “Pet slowly and feed.” Are you saying I’m fat? No kisses for you!
Mama is always saying that one dachshund isn’t enough. Dad won’t let her have any more. I don’t exactly want to share the limelight, but if she could clone me, I guess that would be okay. By the way, where are we going anyway? The zoo? Will there be a walrus there?
Check the hair! I look fabulous! Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Ground control to major dad! We need some bacon here!
I see a little piece of bacon on the floor. It’s my treat! It’s my treat!
Yes, yes, I am very clever. In fact, if you’d like to hear my sing, I have my own video!https://cdn.embedly.com/widgets/media.html?src=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fembed%2Fi9ES28zDonU%3Fstart%3D5%26feature%3Doembed%26start%3D5&display_name=YouTube&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Di9ES28zDonU&image=https%3A%2F%2Fi.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2Fi9ES28zDonU%2Fhqdefault.jpg&key=a19fcc184b9711e1b4764040d3dc5c07&type=text%2Fhtml&schema=youtube
Born in the USA, I was born in the USA! I was….just the next town over from Mama and Dad. I weighed 3 pounds when they got me! I was totes adorbs. I’ve filled out a bit since then. Shut up about my big butt — I didn’t do that song!
One day, Mama went to work without getting me down from the couch. I have short legs. She was obviously not thinking. I sat and sat….but then I needed to pee. Bad. Plus, my food was on the other side of the room. I thought for a long time about what to do. Then, it hit me:
I might as well JUMP.
I know it says Straight Outta Bacon, but you better never run outta bacon. Mama ain’t got time for that! Yeah, I’m lookin’ at you! Don’t make me go all gansta dachshund!
So there you have it. A whole list of iconic album covers as interpreted by the most iconic wiener dog on earth.
Now it’s time for some bacon.